Have you ever spent time examining your values and how they influence your life? Most of us don’t. Yet it’s enjoyable and illuminating and is a real help in decision-making as it helps you identify key areas such as the right job or the right partner or school to send your kids.
Values are the principles or standards that steer you through life
Do you ever think about your values and how they impact your life?
Can you list your core values?
Don’t worry if the answer to these questions is no – most people would he hard-pressed to answer them. I can send you an assessment sheet if you want to explore your values.
Values are valuable and vital because they:
- define your character
- underpin your habits
- influence your decisions and choices – job/partner/schools for kids etc
- affect your behaviour
- become your normal
- help you prioritise
- guide the goals you set & help you achieve them
- help you recognise how successful your life is
- create happiness and well-being
Values are influenced by:
- life experiences
- spiritual beliefs
You may be able to identify a range of values that matter but you have a handful (6-10) core values, which define who you are and are the foundation of who you are and how you want to live your life.
By the time we reach adulthood, our core values are established. although these may be modified as circumstances alter. e.g. a mum is unlikely to have exactly the same values as she had when she was a fun-loving student 🙂
In a sense, values are like the rudder of a ship as they direct your path through life. Knowing your values can make decision-making easier as some options can be eliminated immediately because they do not fit in with your values. Goal setting is also facilitated through an awareness of personal core values and is hugely motivational in achieving goals.
However, difficulties can arise if we are not clear about our personal values or are working or living in an environment where these values are not commonly held.
As children we may have found school difficult initially as we discovered that not everybody conformed to the values that our family held as important.
In a work situation, this incompatibility results in feelings of unease and unfulfilment either with the job requirements or the attitude and approach of other colleagues.
Trying to fit in continues to erode core values. Although people may not consciously realise this is happening, it will add to their feeling of discomfort and in some cases lead to deep unhappiness or stress-related problems.
This can subsequently impact other areas of life, causing new problems or rifts in relationships, adding to stress levels and unhappiness.
Ways to cope:
- Look for another job
- Let your family know what’s happening – don’t bottle it up
- Talk it through with a close friend and work out tactics to help you cope
- Journalling – write out all your frustrations, ways of coping etc
- Make a list every day of things you are grateful for and why
- Develop a hobby you love
- Spend time with people who support, encourage and uplift you
- Go for walks in the country
- See a counsellor or cognitive behavioural therapist
- Consult your doctor if you feel very stressed
Knowing your core values and allowing them to guide you is important. So is using core values to help you identify what you want from life and how to set goals to achieve it. These are definitely areas where coaching can help and I can happily send you a free Values Assessment sheet – contact me at email@example.com
Nina Franklyn BSc[Hons], CCLC, is a popular and qualified life coach, with a special interest in personal & professional goals, success and influence. She runs hugely popular workshops as well as successful 1:1 life coaching. To enquire whether Nina has space available to take you on as a client, email: firstname.lastname@example.org