Process is The Path (why you can’t skip it)

khalliysgraphy.deviantart.com

Hello! Thinking about Process and The Path is a real ‘Aha’ moment in my coaching workshops. It triggers lots of discussion – then gradually, amidst all the fun and chatter, emerges a light bulb moment – that success or growth or change are neither mysterious nor instant.

To succeed at anything, means that you have set your feet on the path and follow the process – there are no short cuts. (Sorry!) But once you accept this, you are unstoppable! You’ll take the first step on your unique path and you’ll keep going until you reach the end of that particular road. No chasing after bright, shiny objects at the side of the road – something I used to do all the time alas.

It might sound dull or tough but truthfully it’s fun and exhilarating. You can see the results of what you’re doing fairly quickly and this motivates you to keep pressing forward. You have a plan to guide you and you’ll develop incredible focus to ensure that the plan happens.

I’ll put my hand up and admit that I used to hate having to wait. And I wish I had been more patient and trod The Path, because many of my outcomes would have been better. I’ve learned some valuable lessons the hard (read difficult, painful and often just plain dumb) way: that life is short and we regret not taking chances, that procrastination destroys hopes, goals and possibly relationships,  that nothing worthwhile comes instantly and about trusting God, His timing and the process.

Accept that it’s your responsibility to plant your feet squarely on The Path, utilising who you are, to take the actions needed to accomplish your goals.

Stages along the Path

  • You have to map and pursue your own path. It’s individual – what you choose to do is relevant to you, your life and your situation. You have your particular skills, strengths and life experiences to draw on. You have your unique vision of what you want to achieve and why. Pray for guidance with your vision and your plans. Ask for wisdom and discernment. (Proverbs 2)
  • Grasp hold of the vision because vision is slippery and if you don’t pay it enough attention, it disappears. Own it, understand it, appreciate the benefits, nurture it.
  • Do your research, read, watch YouTube experts, talk to people who have experience in what you’re planning.
  • Take action. Even if it’s only baby steps. Actually, I’ve observed that consistent baby steps can carry you a long, long way.

It’s an exciting, rewarding journey 🙂 It may not always be simple – you might need to learn new skills and habits or drop some pastimes to free up more time – but as you travel down  the path  you’ll develop more consistency and expand your aptitude and your capacity. How cool is that?

Yes, you may have a few slips or tumbles here and there – and that’s OK. Process is about learning and growing and becoming more.

It took me longer than it probably should have done to understand and value the Path and the Process and I’m grateful that the penny finally dropped because it’s had a positive and dynamic effect on my life and who I am.  Please don’t waste opportunities like I did. Start at the beginning by visioning your destination, setting goals and work your plan through to the end. Let me know how you get on!

If you have questions, I’ll be happy to answer them in the comments or at ninafcoach@gmail.com & also connect with me on twitter.

Oh and by the way, if you wondered about the wolf – think dogged determination! 🙂

 

It’s Up To You! [the R words]

Jim Rohn

“Nina, you share so much about changing and growth and flourishing. What would you say is top of the list?”

Such a great question! The answer is both simple (taking responsibility for your life and its outcomes) and complex (understanding how self awareness and self management combine with responsibility.) But it’s worth the time and energy if you’re serious about moving forward with your life – and it’s always beneficial to learn more about how we tick.

RSASR

Self Awareness

Self awareness is essentially understanding the positives and negatives of:

  • your drives
  • your values
  • your strengths and weaknesses
  • your attitudes
  • your habits
  • your needs and desires
  • your emotional responses – to your own actions and others’ actions

By being totally honest with with yourself, recognising what works and what needs to be improved, you can act from a position of strength. This builds personal power, boosts self esteem and elevates your effectiveness personally and professionally. You can make good decisions, respond positively to circumstances and set meaningful and achievable goals.

Self regulation

Being able to deal with your emotions, no matter how difficult the situation, by:

  • not acting impulsively
  • not immediately looking for someone else to blame
  • acknowledging your feelings (and those of others) but not allowing feelings to get the upper hand
  • thinking before you respond
  • communicating clearly and calmly
  • staying focused on what’s important
  • looking for the best next step

Self regulation is basically self control to bring about the best result. With this self control we are well-fortified. Without it self-control we are vulnerable. tweet this

“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” [Proverbs 25:28 ESV]

Hiding from the truth

Andy Stanley says that, “Irresponsibility is very difficult to see in the mirror.” He’s right!

Psychologists talk about the self-serving bias which is a tactic or process used to protect or enhance self-esteem, in every area of life. Basically, it means that we take credit for good outcomes and blame others for bad outcomes – regardless of how we ourselves contributed to the outcome.

“For example, a student who attributes earning a good grade on an exam to their own intelligence and preparation but attributes earning a poor grade to the teacher’s poor teaching ability or unfair test questions is exhibiting the self-serving bias.” [Wikipedia]

And it’s not helpful in the long term because it deludes us into being less than we can be, when we refuse or fail to take responsibility for our actions. It can also make us unpopular with friends, family and colleagues.

And yes – it is tough to face up to – I’ve had many moments of crying into my pillow when I accepted that I’d played a part in many of the things that had gone wrong in my life. But it’s also incredibly liberating and empowering.

Help yourself help yourself 🙂

It was totally worth the effort I made to overcome the bit of me that wanted to play the victim or the martyr. Like forgiveness, taking responsibility is a huge gift that you give yourself –  the benefits are incredible!

Thank God that it doesn’t matter what we’ve done in the past – every day offers you  a fresh start and an opportunity to plonk yourself firmly in the driving seat of your life and where it’s headed.

When you fully accept that you are in charge of the outcomes of your life and how you react to circumstances, then you can truly move forward. tweet this

Source: Google Images

Source: Google Images

Areas of responsibility:

  • Your words
  • Your decisions
  • Your actions
  • Your health
  • Your finances
  • Your career
  • Your talents, skills and gifts
  • Your life
  • Your spiritual life

“If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.” [Robert Schiller]

Once we get a grip on self regulation and responsibility, we open the door to amazing changes.

You will feel more motivated and more excited about the present and the future. You will feel more able to deal with life. You can plan and set goals. You can stop blaming others (even if it is their fault, deal with the situation) and you’ll know that if problems come against you, you’ll find a way through.

I love the following verse – its sums up everything in this post.

“Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” (Galatians 6: 5 MSG)

Any questions or comments?  Share them both or email me at ninafcoach@gmail.com. You can also follow me on twitter 🙂

Nina is a qualified life coach who enjoys learning and sharing about flourishing.  She is a novice blogger.

 

We’ve All BeenThat Dog That Walked 30 Miles! (dealing with rejection)

Graphic via Daily Mail

Graphic via Daily Mail

Thousands  fell head over paws in love with  Lady, the gorgeous, greying Lab who walked almost 30 miles, despite being arthritic, to be re-united with her second family, who were unable to take her back. [Read the full story]

I’m guessing zillions of tears were brushed away.

It was  just so achingly sad and poignant.

Lady’s story got me thinking because we’ve all been there, haven’t we? I know I have!

And when it happens,  it’s painful. Oh boy, does it hurt to be shunned!

 

Graphic source - Copy Blogger, google images

Graphic source – Copy Blogger, Google images

We feel unlovable, unwanted, lacking, embarrassed  And as rejection can occur in  romantic, social, family or work relationships it’s going to affect all of us.

Of course, some professions invite rejection. My daughter is in the midst of editing her first novel, which will, hopefully, soon be published. Along the way, she has faced many rejections from literary agents.

Why Rejection Hurts

Much like Lady and her doggy pals, we are social animals and need to feel that we belong to ‘the pack.’  We want to feel loved and accepted.

This desire  is stronger when you are invested in a relationship. Somebody you don’t know well  gives you the cold shoulder and you shrug it off. If you’re turned down for a job, you can recover reasonably quickly and start the search again.

However, if it’s someone you really care for, then it’s much, much harder to deal with.

It’s to do with value and self worth. When someone important rebuffs you, it’s inevitable that you feel judged and found wanting in some way, Even worse, you may have no idea why the other person feels like that. So you’re left floundering, wondering what you did.

We tend to personalise rejection, and our brain runs an endless loop – ‘what should I have done differently? what’s wrong with me?’

And that feeling that you’ve done a few rounds with Mike Tyson is real – Recent research indicates that social rejection triggers the part of the brain  that causes the physical pain we feel when we trap our hand in a drawer or spill a hot drink on our hand.

Dealing With Rejection

“Rejection is merely a redirection; a course correction to your destiny.”  Bryant McGill

I love the sheer bravery of that quote!

It flies in the face of our natural tendency to shut ourselves away, to guard our hearts against future rejection.

And we can’t live like that. In fact, the fear of rejection can become greater than the hurt of the actual experience.

There are ways of dealing with rejection:

  • Don’t take it to heart. Ok, I know that’s easier said than done, but remember that you don’t always know all the factors in a situation. There may be a reason that you didn’t get that job that had nothing at all to do with you and your skills and experience.
  • Accept that you don’t always know what drives others, what inner hurts or pain that cause them to behave in certain ways.
  • Don’t anticipate rejection. It’s natural to want to protect yourself against further hurt – but stay open to new relationships, new opportunities. It’s Ok to be cautious but don’t lock yourself out of life.  If you do that, then you’ve given away your personal power.

 

  • Hang out with people who love you and encourage you. Believe what they say about you!
  • Write a list of all your skills, talents and positive characteristics. Ask others for suggestions. Keep reading it!
  • Forgive.  You may have to work on this over of time – and pray a lot – but it’s totally worth it. Forgiving the people who have hurt you frees you and enables you to move forward.
  • Pray for strength and wisdom. Jesus knows how rejection feels. He understands what you’re going through. His love never falters and He is your rock and your safe place when you are journeying through the pain of rejection. Ask Him to show you what you need to see.

And finally – Lady’s story had a  happy-ever-after ending – she was rehomed by a millionairess!!

You never know how your story will end – so keep on trusting in God’s plan for your life.

By the way, if you found this post helpful, you’ll enjoy this one:  Overcoming Hurtful Words

Please share your comments and questions below.  And, if you found this post helpful, please share it with your friends.

Nina is a qualified life coach who enjoys learning and sharing about flourishing.  She is a novice blogger.

 

Why Consistency is Key to Your Success

 

Graphic source: weheartit.com

Graphic source: weheartit.com

“In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.” [Tony Robbins]

Consistency is crucial. It’s the difference between failure and success. There’s no point in starting something  and being lackadaisical. It’s self sabotage and it destroys motivation

Here’s a hard truth – you may have the best ideas, the best resources, the best strategies, the best plans but without consistency they mean nothing.

Zilch.

Here’s another hard truth – if you’re continually flitting from idea to idea, guru to guru, shiny object to shiny object, you aren’t going to get anywhere.

Trust me. I know.

I am by nature a ‘starter’, not a ‘finisher’. I used to be great at enthusiastically starting new projects or routines and letting them drift away into nothing because I didn’t maintain the effort needed. Then I’d wonder why things stayed more or less the same.  Eventually, with help, I realised what was happening and started to change my approach. And I’ve wondered how many opportunities I lost or wasted. But it’s never too late to make a fresh start!

The people who make it to the top  are the ones with solid, dependable habits,  who get up every day and do what has to be done, properly and carefully – and here’s another key – whether they feel like it or not!

Ashton Kutcher hit the nail on the head when he said that ‘Opportunity looks a lot like hard work.’  And so does success. It’s about making a conscious decision to work for your dreams, creating opportunities for success,  day in & day out.

Consistency builds your reputation

Truth.

How many people do you know, socially or professionally, that you think are flaky or unreliable because you don’t know whether they will come through? How often does this kind of behaviour really vex you? How often do you do it?

Consistency positions you professionally

If you repeatedly show up, always doing your best, always with a positive, can-do attitude, people start to notice and respect you because you’re reliable and trustworthy.

Consistency allows you to take stock

When you implement a new routine or plan and you stick with it you can reliably evaluate and measure your progress  and see how it’s shaping up. You can make informed decisions about what to do next because you have accurate data.

Tips on being consistent

Think long term – consistency is not about speed and how fast you can accomplish something – it’s about longevity.

Build your life so that it will be sustainable and successful years ahead,  how you want it to be five, ten, twenty or more years from now. Every day you’re  adding another brick to your vision.

1) See consistency as a journey rather than a quick fix solution. Rome wasn’t built in a day 🙂

2) Know what you’re aiming to achieve and plan ahead.

3) Work your goals. They are the blueprint. Drop anything which doesn’t serve them..Keep reminding yourself of the benefits of achieving your goals –  this is very motivating and encouraging.

4) You don’t have to do everything every day – some tasks/actions can be done daily, others two or three times a week or twice a month and so on.

5) Fix times to certain actions – we are creatures of habit and routine.  By performing certain tasks at certain times, you will quickly discover that you’re doing them automatically.

6) If you let something slip – forgive yourself and get back into routine.

7) Find an accountability partner.  You need someone who is both supportive and willing to call you out if needed. If you don’t have someone, think about hiring a life coach for a couple of hours each month.

8)  Remind yourself how pleased you will be in the future when you reap the rewards of being consistent.

9) Celebrate along the way! Give yourself little treats.

Finally, I have grown to appreciate and love consistency as key to my overall success in both my personal and business life.

I hope you do too! 🙂

Please share your comments and questions below.  And, if you found this post helpful, please share it with your friends.

Nina is a qualified life coach who enjoys learning and sharing about flourishing.  She is a novice blogger.

 

 

Simplify for Success [lifehack]

Are you always busy?

Dashing from here to there and back again, with your never-ending to-do list clutched in one hand, your phone clutched in the other as you frantically send out another FB update or  tweet or  text?

Does  housework feel like the labours of Hercules?

Are the important people in your life are getting less of your full-on attention than they deserve?

Do you fall into bed, exhausted at the end of the day, knowing that tomorrow the whole wretched merry-go-round starts again?

Do you always/often feel less than 100% physically?

Do you feel overwhelmed or that you’re failing?

Do you want it to stop?

If you’ve said ‘yes’ then here are some suggestions to help you simplify your life.  You might find it challenging at first – that’s OK – do what you can.

You’ll feel better, have more time, feel fresher and more productive. Success and simplicity go hand-in-hand.  And remember it’s an ongoing process – you may wish to revisit some of the items on the list again in the future

hih

Do as much as possible this week and chances are you’ll feel so energised you’ll keep finding more and more ways to simplify for success!!

How can you declutter your home? 

Keep all the items that have sentimental value but generally I think that most of us have way too much stuff – from furniture to ornaments and gadgets – that we hardly ever use. Grab some bin bags and go round your house and decide what you genuinely need and give the rest to a charity shop or a friend and let someone else appreciate it.

What about all those things that are going to be mended some day? It’s time to either mend them or dispose of them in some way – do you have a friend who might love the chance to fix it?

Lots of toys that the kids no longer play with? Send them to a charity if they’re still in good condition.

How many clothes do you have lurking in the back of wardrobes that aren’t going to be worn again? [Be honest 🙂 ] Pack them off to a charity shop or give them to friends.

What about paperwork – shred or bin all those old, useless documents and receipts for something that’s been broken for years etc

How can you declutter your time?

Is there any social activity that you can drop and not really miss doing?

What can you delegate? Are there tasks at work that can be handed over to someone else – at least some of the time? What about chores at home? Can you delegate any of those? Are you able to pay for a cleaner to come in once or twice a week and take some of the load off you?

Maybe you could have a gardener come now and again to do some of the heavy work in the garden?

What about food shopping online? Once you’ve set it up it’s fairly easy to redo it each week and still take advantage of any special offers.  And don’t forget you can book tickets on line as well.

Cook simple meals in the evening and, if you can, make enough so that you can freeze some for another day.

Start saying ‘no’

It’s easy to fill up our time with things that we don’t really want to do or don’t really have the time for. Say ‘ no’ to events and invitations unless you’re excited about going or it’s really important to the other person.  But if  you don’t really fancy that  BBQ on Saturday, then simply say apologise and politely turn down the invitation.

Spend less time on the internet

Isn’t it amazing how 5 minutes checking emails or face book mysteriously turns into an hour or more? 🙂 Limit your sessions on social media and see who/what you can delete from your lists.

Stop trying to multi-task

Multitasking is counterproductive as it burdens the brain and slows us down. Read more here.

Instead of multitasking, group similar activities together and tackle them one after another. For example, set aside time to send all your tweets and emails. Or lump all your errands together and do them in one fell swoop,  so that you don’t need to keep driving to various places.

Once you start simplifying your life, you’ll discover new ways and ideas. Make a start and see how much more productive, happy and successful you are!

Thank you for reading this blog post.

Please share your comments and questions below.  And, if you found this post helpful, please share it with your friends.

Nina is a qualified life coach who enjoys learning and sharing about flourishing.  She is a novice blogger.

 

 

 

 

 

Why you CAN’T Multi-Task [life hack]

Ok. Hands up if you do any of these…..

  • read & reply to emails while talking to a colleague
  • text while you’re walking from one place to another
  • discreetly write out a shopping list during a meeting
  • study while you’re watching the match or your fave series
  • send business related tweets while you’re writing a report or number crunching
  • check Face Book during the sermon

…..and you can probably add a few more.  We live in a world where being over busy has   gained a status that it doesn’t deserve. Forget the designer clothes, posh house – being ‘too busy’ is the sign of success.

Busyness

Our lives are packed these days – literally thousands of new items of information  land on our desks or devices every day.

Plus the usual work-related tasks, housework, shopping, caring for children and/or parents,  walking the dog, fitting in exercise or seeing friends, finding time to read the Bible, pray…….

It’s not surprising that we turn to multitasking to be more productive and to  save a few precious minutes here and there – after all, cognitively we seem able to follow several threads of thought at a time. Right?

Not exactly.

It’s possible to perform ‘background tasks’ – eating and watching TV, running several loads of washing while reading a report – because the background task requires little cognitive effort.

Multitasking refers to when we try to perform two, or more, actions simultaneously that each require attention and full brain power.

And the truth is,   you can’t multitask effectively. Multitasking is a myth.

And a dangerous one.

Failures of Multitasking

We all know that texting and driving can have disastrous consequences.

But did you know that, “Workers distracted by e-mail and phone calls suffer a fall in IQ more than twice that found in marijuana smokers.” [Institute of Psychiatry, University of London, 2005 – emphasis mine]

The same research indicated that multi-tasking is akin to performing tasks when you haven’t slept for 36 hours!

It’s clear from this that trying to do two or more things at once is totally counter-productive and not likely to lead to successful job completion.

Why Multitasking Doesn’t Work

Without getting too technical what happens is that your brain can’t do two things at once. So, it switches back and forth between the tasks, using up energy and reducing your attention. This negative effect is apparently worse the older we get, and has been researched by Adam Gazzaley.

To put it another way, you’re not able to fully focus or concentrate on any of the tasks you’re attempting. Hence  a loss in efficiency and effectiveness as you’re likely to make more mistakes, especially as the day goes on and you start to be tired.

And here’s the real blow – multitasking actually slows you down!

It’s far faster to fully focus on one action then move onto the next.

How Multitasking Affects Health

Dr Andrew Rosen of South Florida’s Centre for the Treatment of Anxiety Disorders states that multitasking:

  • “overloads the neurons
  • depletes the brain chemicals we need
  • overloads the central nervous system”

Multitasking can result in:

  • stress
  • anxiety
  • feeling overwhelmed
  • reduced memory
  • burn-out

Ways to Cut Back

  • reduce the amount of people/groups you follow  on social media – stick with the ones that really matter. If you hardly ever read those newsletters. unsubscribe.
  • organise your day so that you have strict time-slots for dealing with social media, meetings with colleagues. phone calls etc
  • delegate what you can
  • to avoid interruptions try to find  a quiet corner away from people
  • politely but firmly rebuff people who try to interrupt you unless it’s urgent.  If you can, put up a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign and make it obvious that you mean it
  • focus on one job at at a time – it may take a little practice but you’ll find that you’ll be able to concentrate harder and for longer
  • if you do find yourself slipping back into multitasking, stop, take a short break and then decide which task you’re going to tackle first

If you want to read more about multi-tasking, have a look at  ‘The Myth of Multitasking” by Dave Crenshaw

Multi-tasking is counter productive. It  exhausts you and contributes to impaired performance.  I hope these tips will help you  – let me know! If you have questions, I’ll be happy to answer them in the comments or at ninafcoach@gmail.com & also connect with me on twitter.

 

7 Reasons why you should love your goals!

 “People with goals succeed because they know where they are going – it’s as simple as that.”  Earl Nightingale

earRight, I’m going to start with a big confession.

I love, love, love goals and goal setting! I can – and do! – talk about goals for hours to anyone who’s interested. [Yes, my family and friends are very long-suffering :)]

Why? Why am I so keen on something that most people don’t do?

And in fact I didn’t use to, until I discovered that proper planning makes a HUGE difference to my life and its outcomes.

Why goals rock – ie why you should love them

Goals are plans and strategies to move you and your life forward, not wishes or daydreams. In other words, goals give direction to your life. How do you know where you’re going, how to get there, or if you’ve got there without goals?  

Writing goals down in a journal and reviewing them regularly, sticking post-it notes in prominent places and/or discussing them with a supportive friend, activates your reticular activating system (RAS). This brings clarity and focus – helping you to quickly spot things that help you reach your goals.  Basically, the RAS is your best buddy in reaching your goals.

Knowing the why behind the goal [all the benefits] gives you purpose and fulfilment.

You simplify your life because you have a clear focus and can eliminate what isn’t going to propel you forward.

Goals make decision making easier.

Celebrating every small success releases dopamine which makes you feel good and encourages you to tackle the next task.

People who set goals and work on them are more successful, fulfilled and happier.

Honestly, what’s not to love about goals? If you have any comments, doubts about how lovable goals are or queries, pop them into the comments box or email ninafcoach@gmail.com

You may also find this post useful – Why and Other Questions You Must Answer Before You Set Your Goals – yes, it’s a mouthful but it’s a good read 🙂

“Setting goals is the single most important step you will take in improving your life.” Oli Hille

dream   Nina Franklyn Bsc[Hons], CCLC, RSA is a qualified life coach, with a special interest in goals, success and influence. She runs popular workshops as well as offering 1:1 life coaching, often via phone or email, for people who are serious about creating a better life or following their purpose.

Defeat Resistance; Be A Winner!

depressed

“Many of us have two lives. The one we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.”  [Steven Pressfield]

Ouch!!

When I read Steven Pressfield’s book, The War of Art,  those 2 sentences hit home.

Hard!

And  it’s not just me.

I’ve listened to people in an agony of despair and self-criticism as days drift by without any decisive action.

Maybe you’ve been there too……..

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

You can defeat resistance and be a winner!

Resistance affects many areas

  • Creative projects
  • Business building
  • New exercise and healthy eating plans
  • Our walk with God
  • Relationships
  • Studying/writing essays
  • Making a stand for what we know is right
  • Getting involved in community/charitable projects
  • Projects around the house
  • Anything that you might be able to add to this list

Know the enemy

Truth is,  Resistance is far from futile – it’s a strong, overwhelming force that can knock us off our path, overcome our hopes and dreams and leave us reeling in despair and  futility with our self-esteem in tatters.  Over time, it can become a vicious cycle – we procrastinate or give into our fears or self-doubts and we feel a failure which makes taking the right action at the right time harder so we feel more of a failure…… and on it goes.

Slowly over time, not taking the right actions at the right time becomes a habit.

You know how Resistance operates – every time you go to start, something stops you, You don’t feel like it, the weather’s wrong, you should hoover and do another load of washing first, the car needs something doing to it, blah blah blah.

It might look a little different each time, but basically it’s all Resistance.  The result is the same – stuff doesn’t get done – whether it’s running, eating well, writing another chapter, making business contacts.

Resistance is the enemy!  It is the enemy of your life, your success, your purpose and your destiny!

You know when it’s got you in thrall.

Your plans aren’t happening, your work isn’t happening, your progress isn’t happening.

I am reminded of St Paul’s heartfelt lament in Romans 7:15

“For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate.” [HCSB]

Don’t be fooled – You can defeat Resistance

beat r

Resistance might shout loudly and fill our heads with ‘you can’t’, ‘not now, do it later,’  ‘this isn’t gonna work, it’s not worth doing’ and other variations on the same theme, but the truth is, Resistance is all talk.  It has little substance.  A toothless lion, if you will.

It’s important for you to grasp this, because it is incredibly important, so important that Resistance doesn’t want you to know it and will fight to stop you implementing it.

It can be defeated!

How?

[drum roll]

Action!

“Action Always Defeats Resistance!”  [N.M.Franklyn]

What to do to defeat Resistance

  • Decide that this is a battle you are going to win.
  • Accept that it will take a while – there’s no magic bullet.
  • Commit to creating new habits.
  • Start small – decide that you will work on a task for a short period of time (even if it’s only 5 minutes)  and do it. Then give yourself a small reward 🙂  Then go back and do another 5 minutes or 15 minutes – whatever you’ve decided.  Then have another reward/break. Keep this pattern going.
  • Alternatively – decide that you are going to devote 90 minutes first thing every morning to work and do it. Set a timer so that you can see the time counting down 🙂 Then when you’ve finished, give yourself a little treat.
  • Work on your tasks/projects every day – build new habits
  • Know the benefits of what you are working to achieve – this will inspire and motivate you
  • Forget perfectionism – do the very best you can right now.
  • Find an accountability partner. Choose someone you can trust, who will support and encourage you to stay on track.
  • Seek out someone who is attempting to do the same as you – either in real life or through the internet – and join forces to share the journey together.

Get into the Word

“Be transformed from the inside out by renewing your mind.” Romans 12: 2b The Voice

“Then you called out to God in your desperate condition;
    he got you out in the nick of time.
He led you out of your dark, dark cell,
    broke open the jail and led you out.
So thank God for his marvelous love,
    for his miracle mercy to the children he loves;
He shattered the heavy jailhouse doors,
    he snapped the prison bars like matchsticks!”

Psalm 107:12 TM

I will leave you with a great talk by Nancy Missler

Please share your comments and questions below.  And, if you found this post helpful, please share it with your friends.

Nina is a qualified life coach who enjoys learning and sharing about flourishing.  She is a novice blogger.

Why & Other Vital Questions You Must Answer Before You Set Your Goals

“It’s the why behind the vision that inspires the action.”  NinaFCoach   click to tweet    

The most important question you can ask yourself before you  even write down your goals and start working  them, both professionally and personally is “Why?”
  • Why am I doing this?    [Keep asking this until you have a list of reasons.]
  • What are the benefits of doing this for myself and for those I love?
  • What will happen if I don’t set this goal and achieve it?

Spend time thinking about the answers, discuss them, do any necessary research. Be absolutely crystal clear on the why and the benefits. This will guide and motivate you in the weeks that lie ahead while you work on your goals. Write everything down – so that you can refer to it later. Also, writing stimulates clarity, memory and positivity.

The next questions are about the practicalities of achieving your goals

  • Can I do this at this time and with my set of circumstances? It’s good to have goals that challenge us but if the challenge is close to impossible, it’s better to find another starting place and take the necessary steps.
  • What do I need before I can begin? [knowledge, resources, money etc]
  • What are the opportunities for success and what are the threats?
  • Who can help me?
  • How will I know when I have succeeded? Be clear on this.
  • When will I have finished? Every goal needs an end date – you can adjust it if needs be.
  • Who are my mentors? [either in real life or books, blogs, CDs etc]
  • Who is my accountability partner? I fully recommend that you have one – to keep you on track, to celebrate you successes and to cheer you along. Pick someone you know will be both firm and supportive.

These questions will help you set up your goals for success. If you have any comments or queries, please ask them below or email ninafcoach@gmail.com

Thank you for reading! Every success!

 

 

How A Great Attitude Can Change Your Life

att

Do you want MORE?

Great! Then let’s explore the many ways a great attitude can change your life – and how to get it!

Attitude is more than a way of thinking – it’s a way of living your life.  Attitude influences your decisions, your words, your actions and the outcomes of your life.

A great attitude can get you get a job.

“Studies have shown that people want to be with those who have a good attitude, In fact, for some employers, a good attitude is sometimes a more important consideration than skills. You can train for skills, but it’s difficult to work a bad attitude. Recruitment agencies tell us that if candidates are fairly evenly matched, the one with the most positive attitude will get the job.” (Pam Wyess)

A great attitude can you get  you  friends.

This is a no brainer.

Aren’t you drawn to others who are fun to be with, who have a happy, positive attitude and who embrace life?

So is everyone else 🙂

A great attitude leads to excellence

ralph

I had an ‘aha’ moment when I first came across Ralph Marston’s statement and others react in the same way in my coaching workshops 🙂

An attitude of excellence – doing the very best you can with what you have available at the time – can be cultivated, it’s not innate.  So, if you want doors to open for you, then this is the way to go.

A great attitude gets you friends and admirers.

Positive, motivated people handle problems and setbacks constructively – looking for solutions rather someone to blame. This makes them more productive and waaaaay more popular with their friends and co-workers, because they feel secure in someone so trustworthy.

And this opens the door to opportunity 🙂

A great attitude helps keep you healthy

“A cheerful heart makes you healthy. But a broken spirit dries you up.” [Proverbs 17:22 NIRV]

Research suggests negative thinking is bad for your health but it’s the image of the broken spirit that got my attention.

It suggests no hope, no belief, no confidence, no future.

Because negative thinking is a self-fulfilling prophecy which perpetuates itself.

negativity cycle2But the circle can be broken!

Great Attitude is a Choice

“Attitude to me, is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.

The remarkable thing is that we have choices everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. 

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.”(Charles Swindoll)

I grew up in a home where there was a lot of pessimism and disapproval and  my default position was gloom and doom and this impacted on many choices I made as a younger woman. 😦

Becoming a Christian began the change in me as I began to understand who I am and Whose I am. Romans 12:2 “Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind” was another stepping stone.

I was electrified when God said to me, as I was musing over my journal, “Face up and face forward.” I took it to mean looking to Him, keeping my head up (confidence) and literally to face forward to the future, rather than dwelling in the past and its various miseries.

It’s also about taking responsibility for your life, which is incredibly liberating! I had been a victim – sometimes of other people’s bad decisions but also of my own attitudes and bad choices. When I ‘faced-up’ to that, my life began to move in a new and better direction.

Discipline & Prayer

It takes both to get a habit of negative thinking sorted, once and for all. And there may be relapses on the way – so don’t feel that it’s game over if you have a bad day.

But  we have help; God gave us a ‘sound mind’ – we can use it to think powerfully, to trust that all will be well and to step out boldly.

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” [2 Tim 1:7 NIV]

 

buttI guess the caterpillar isn’t too keen on that middle stage before it becomes a butterfly – but what a transformation!

And how encouraging!

We – you and I –  can be transformed by the renewing of our minds

Our approach to situations can be transformed.

How we experience life can be transformed.

If I can do it, so can you 🙂

Please share your comments and questions below.  And, if you found this post helpful, please share it with your friends.

Nina is a qualified life coach who enjoys learning and sharing about flourishing.  She is a novice blogger.